Fight the Good Fight
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: The boys aren't getting along, Hijikata has been avoiding Gintoki, and sometimes it's impossible to say what's wrong.


**Title**: Fight the Good Fight

**Pairing**: Gintoki/Hijikata

**Rating**: NC17

**For:** Kihentai

**Disclaimer**: No

**Fight the Good Fight**

Gintoki was pining.

He was sprawled out on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, and _pining_. The reason for his woes was nowhere to be found and hadn't been able to be found in over a week. Gintoki had gone looking – however, covertly – hoping to run into the bastard, but he'd had no luck, none, which wasn't usual. He'd thought Hijikata was avoiding him since the last time they'd seen each other they'd gotten into a fight, though he couldn't remember what over, it'd been something really dumb. Hijikata had been in a foul mood and Gintoki had pestered him and pestered him until he'd snapped and Gintoki had snapped back. It hadn't ended well, some cuts and bruises and raised tempers. They'd parted ways on bad terms since Hijikata had had to go back to work and Gintoki had wanted nothing more than to go blow what little money he had on Pachinko and have a few drinks.

But shortly thereafter, Gintoki was ready to see his boyfriend. It didn't matter to him if he got snapped at again, he just wanted to see and be with Hijikata, simple as that. He could feel something was off, it was an unsettled churning in his gut that something really just wasn't right, and he needed to be near. Too bad Hijikata was, as previously stated, nowhere to be found. And Gintoki had looked! He'd gone on countless walks and loitered in places Hijikata tended to pass, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Gintoki knew he was probably busy with maybe a stakeout or paperwork and he hated that he couldn't just go to the barracks and see for himself. He'd tried calling a couple times, but after it'd gone straight to voicemail each time he'd stopped.

He sighed again.

"Gin-chan! You're making that noise again!"

"Hah? Wha' noise?"

"The noise that makes it sound like your soul is leaving your body. Did someone drink your strawberry milk? I didn't this time!"

Gintoki squinted up at Kagura when she came to look at him over the back of the sofa. "Gin-san's soul will never leave his body. The noise you're hearing is the breathing exercise of a true samurai."

She shoved a piece of sukonbu in her mouth. "Is that why you haven't moved all day?"

"I moved today."

"From your bed to the sofa doesn't count."

"I'm out of my pajamas."

Kagura poked his cheek. "But you haven't smiled in days."

Oh, well, she had him there.

"Maybe I should do something about that."

He swatted her finger away and sat up to stretch his arms over his head. He was aware Kagura was still watching him, but he only ruffled her hair and stood to go put his boots on. If it was bad enough that Kagura was noticing something, then he'd have to give waiting the finger and say to hell with it, he was going to go see Hijikata regardless of whether he was welcome at the barracks or not.

"Bring some more sukonbu back with you after work!"

"I'll think about it!"

"You'd better do it!"

Gintoki waved her off and went to his room to quickly put a small bag of stuff he'd need together. That done, he tromped off to the door and put his boots on and slipped his bokken into place. He left the apartment and made short work of the journey, not letting himself think too much or get sidetracked by anything. He wanted to see Hijikata, so that was what he was going to do. If Hijikata wasn't at the barracks, then Gintoki was going to turn all of Edo upside down until he found the bastard.

When he got to the Shinsengumi headquarters, he utilized his rarest quality and became Gin-visible. It was mid-afternoon and he wouldn't be seen, not by anyone. If he got caught, he'd be questioned and he was already shady to the Shinsengumi, showing up at their headquarters for 'no reason' wouldn't bode well. So, upon slipping passed the gate and becoming one with the wall he was shimmying along, he began a staggered route to Hijikata's room.

He collected tiny little pebbles along the way and once he was positioned outside the right door, he chucked a pebble at it. It clinked against the wood and he waited, crouched just off the porch in a squat where he was sure he wouldn't be noticed. He tossed another pebble, it clinked and skittered, he waited. Only his eyes were peering from below the porch and he listened hard, hoping to hear a noise from within. If he'd come all this way, risking his life, to throw pebbles at an empty room he was going to be the grouchiest perm puff the world had ever known.

Right when he was about ready to toss another pebble, footsteps sounded and he ducked down to shove himself into a cramped ball beneath the floorboards. Kondo was talking, his telltale laugh raucous compared to the soft, recognizable – his heart leapt – grunts. Little showers of dust and dirt fell as they walked over him and paused outside Hijikata's room and he swatted at the dirt so it didn't get into his face. It was too bad that only seemed to stir up more into his face and he stared at it all with dead fish eyes as he shooed it off with the softest of _bleh_ sounds.

He was so distracted with the particles trying to infiltrate his nostrils that he didn't hear what was being said above him. He missed the whole conversation and didn't realize it was over until more dust was falling on him some more as someone walked away. Gintoki put a hand over his mouth and nose to wait it out and on the boarders of his subconscious there was a niggling thought that he'd heard a door open, but hadn't heard it close.

On the tail end of that thought, Gintoki heard a blade leave its sheath and he managed to duck to the left just in time to avoid the sword as it drove through the floorboards where he'd originally been squatting. Screaming, he rolled farther away and kicked the blade, his eyes wide and perm puffed out in surprise.

"Stand down!" Gintoki cried. "Goddamn it! It's me!"

The sword was pulled out and Hijikata's face appeared in the gap. "Natural perm?"

"Who the hell else?" he snapped, crawling out from beneath the porch. "You almost killed me!"

He was snatched then, grabbed by the collar and yanked upward to be thrown into the room where he landed squarely on his face. He'd thought up a few scenarios on his way over and this hadn't been anywhere near how he'd wanted to handle things. The door closed and Hijikata sheathed his sword, his footfalls heavy as he came over to kick Gintoki in the side.

"You're not supposed to come here!"

Gintoki rolled over, arms flopping. "I couldn't find you anywhere else!"

Hijikata's glare faltered just the slightest bit and... something was still off with him. Gintoki couldn't place exactly what it was right away, but he could _tell_ something wasn't quite right. It was like when your toothbrush was in the same spot every single day until someone moved it an inch to the right. It wasn't a huge change, but it _was _a change and though it wasn't exactly wrong in that the toothbrush was still there, it was weird all the same.

"I've been busy," Hijikata replied, taking off his sword and heading for the closet.

Gintoki sat up and watched him, eyes narrowing. "Doing what?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

Stiff. Hijikata's movements were stiff and unnatural, his voice gruff, but tacitly tired. Standing, Gintoki made his way closer and knew then that his assumptions were right because Hijikata's shoulders drew up the nearer he got.

"Let me see."

"I have work to do, you shouldn't be here."

"Don't try that bullshit with me, lemme see already."

By then he had a hand on Hijikata's back and the other was bristling, refusing to look back at him. "You're such a pain! I said go!"

"If you'd just look at me you'd see that that isn't going to happen."

"Bastard," Hijikata spat under his breath, head lowering as a blush crept up his neck. "I turned you black and blue for wanting to spend time with me and yet you still keep coming back! What the hell is it with you?"

"I must be resilient," Gintoki replied, nimble fingers starting to pull off Hijikata's jacket and he was glad when he met no resistance. "Or suicidal."

Hijikata snorted drily and let his jacket fall to the floor between them. "T'ch, you're an idiot."

"And a happy fool."

Gintoki took off the cravat and kissed the back of Hijikata's neck, letting his warmth seep into the other's body. He was over the fight, had been over it so shortly after it'd ended and he'd been able to cool his head. The bruises hadn't mattered, the words exchanged in anger had slid right off him and become no more meaningful than the particles of dust he'd been shooing at earlier. Hijikata was mean to him sometimes, but he was mean to Hijikata sometimes, too.

He could tell Hijikata wasn't telling him everything, was still struggling with some unseen hurt, but he didn't need to bare himself. Some things they couldn't talk to each other about yet, like, in Gintoki's case, he didn't talk about his past. He wasn't to the point that he could yet and on his bad days he'd sometimes go off on his own where he wouldn't have to interact or deal with anyone. Hijikata had his own things and Gintoki respected that, he just hoped that one day it'd maybe get easier to talk about the shit that plagued them, if only to each other. Until then, he'd offer what he could and let Hijikata take what he needed from him. Sometimes just the presence of another person could help, if it was the right person, and Gintoki really believed that he was.

"Is there no way to get rid of you?" Hijikata asked, relaxing and leaning back into Gintoki with a relenting sigh.

"Do you know nothing about pests? They tend to have a way of burrowing under your skin and sticking with you no matter what you do to them."

"Sounds like pests are stupid."

Gintoki's arms had wrapped around Hijikata's waist and he swayed them gently from side to side. "This one is."

He felt Hijikata wince and he knew he didn't believe what he was saying, not completely because of his own ingrained reservations. But that was okay because Gintoki knew he was in the right place and with the right person and that was all that mattered. Sliding his hands up, he slowly began unbuttoning Hijikata's vest, never stopping his swaying or the skimming of his lips over the warm skin of Hijikata's neck.

"I suppose pests are needy, aren't they?"

Gintoki pushed a hand up Hijikata shirt, making it ride up as he felt out his muscled stomach. "Oh, very."

"I guess I can deal with that," Hijikata said, raising a hand to sift through Gintoki's hair and turning his head for an over the shoulder kiss.

-o-O-o-

There was a little stutter that fluttered through Hijikata's chest as their lips met. It was a slightly awkward position, but Hijikata was loath to move when Gintoki's hands continued to pet up and down his stomach, going opposite directions until his left began undoing buttons and the right slid along the seam of his pants.

"So needy..." he muttered between rather chaste kisses, heat still seeping through and making Hijikata lick his lips.

Perpetually dry and chapped, but perfect against Gintoki's soft, plump ones, like a woman's, but better because this was Gintoki, not some random person off the street. He didn't do that anymore, didn't need to, not when Hijikata could feel the _thump-thump-thump_ beating painfully against his back like Gintoki's heart was attempting to break through his rib cage in order to get to his own. Ludicrous thought that was, but Gintoki was a stupid pest, so it only stood to reason that Hijikata might just be one too.

The last button popped right when Hijikata pulled back from the kiss, perfect timing to roll his shoulders and have his lover remove it. Lucky for the Vice-Commander, Gintoki was a pro at catching onto what they needed when they needed it, more so now that they were having make up sex. Make up sex – that was what it was, and Hijikata snorted a little because of it, but not too much because Gintoki was already grabbing his arm to tug him around.

"Arms around me," Gintoki commanded gruffly before Hijikata was pulled and lifted off the ground.

Hijikata swung both arms around Gintoki's neck, already leaning down to bite at his lips again as Gintoki – now sans yukata and shirt, belts tossed somewhere carelessly – swung them around to march to the futon.

A grunt and then, "You know this is make up sex, right? S'why it feels like this."

Hijikata breathed into Gintoki's mouth, licking out all the little moans with the coaxing of his tongue as Gintoki did the same. Gintoki's hands swept down more to grab at Hijikata's ass while he laid him out, pushing his fingers along the seam of his black slacks and pressing his mouth up against Hijikata's ear, a groan slipping through, loud and shaking.

"Nah," Gintoki replied, bringing one hand around to pop the fly of Hijikata's pants, then his own, seemingly too much in a goddamn hurry to remove them all the way as he took a firm grip along his length.

Hijikata couldn't help but moan, fingers digging into his lover's shoulder as he watched Gintoki stroke himself. It always got him hot to watch, even if he was left hard and neglected for awhile, simply because Gintoki looked so good when his walls and reservations started to come down. It was even better when Gintoki tilted at the waist, lowering himself to grind his hips in a slow swoop against the cradle of Hijikata's own, tongue coming out to lick a stripe around the crest of Hijikata's ear.

"Doesn't matter what type it is to me because," a nip and nibble, "I always feel this way."

Hijikata moaned and turned his head for a kiss, his arms tightening around Gintoki's shoulders. He spread his legs as best he could with his pants on to make more room for Gintoki and moved his hips to match the pace that was set. His eyes closed and he was anything but quiet as they rut against each other, cocks sliding together and trapped between their stomachs. Gintoki kept him reasonably quiet by continuously kissing him.

Hijikata dug his nails into Gintoki's back and scratched downward, letting his lover in and letting himself feel. He touched Gintoki wherever he could reach and just the weight of him had Hijikata's eyes rolling back. Hands sunk into Hijikata's hair and petted and pulled, their hips seamlessly lined up and god, their chests. Gintoki's heat was searing him and feeling not only the weight of him, but the touch of his skin, his muscled stomach, his broad shoulders, the way they slid together, it was all the more arousing. Gintoki demanded of him, that he feel, that he respond, and he could only give in. There was no fight left in him anymore, he couldn't bring himself to push Gintoki away when he wanted him as near as he could get.

He'd missed this, he was leaking between them and could feel Gintoki was as well by how slick it was. There were no words, just movement and kisses and garbled sounds of drawn out moans and cut off noises. Gintoki took care of him and the loudest moan came out of Hijikata's moan when he reached down and grabbed Gintoki's hips. He could feel them moving, could feel the power in Gintoki's body, and the shape of his body, fuck, he had such a great body. He slid his hands beneath Gintoki's loose pants and grabbed his ass and squeezed and pulled, getting him to thrust harder.

Lips were back on his, needy and messy. Hot breath fanned over Hijikata's cheeks and he didn't want to open his eyes, it wasn't like he'd be able to see anything if he did. His brows were scrunching, his orgasm was close, he probably looked pained. The friction Gintoki created felt so good and the heat was blooming up and through Hijikata's body. By then he was only hanging on and following the high upward, he would never tire of giving Gintoki his body.

"S-shit," he gasped and Gintoki bit down on his neck.

The sink and pinch of teeth was what did it, it gave him that final push over the edge and his hips bucked hard. He came while Gintoki was still moving and that only made it feel better while his body twitched and convulsed. It spread through his whole body and his back arched as much as it could given that Gintoki was on top of him. Gintoki's hips stuttered and there was a grunt from him, then more slickness was put between them as he came. Hijikata ran his hands up along Gintoki's spine and felt his muscles contract with each jerky roll of his hips. His teeth cinched down tighter, but Hijikata was far from caring, especially when it felt the way it did.

By the time Gintoki stilled and collapsed, teeth releasing to give way to heavy pants, Hijikata was cradling his permy head with a hand. His high was cut drastically short because he was guilty and he didn't feel good because of it. The way he'd been treating Gintoki was... unfair and there was no word large enough to contain within it just how much of an asshole Hijikata felt.

He didn't fight it when Gintoki moved them, instead just letting whatever might happen, happen. Gintoki kicked his pants off and pulled Hijikata's off after, then grabbed some tissues from the box above the futon to clean them off. It was quiet between them, but not uncomfortable, and it was entirely welcome when Gintoki laid down next to him and pulled the comforter up. Hijikata rolled into him and there was no intention to take a nap, he merely wanted to rest and spend time with him. He drank in Gintoki's body heat and part of him didn't feel like he deserved any of it, but with Gintoki's arm around him, it was impossible to muster the slightest desire to push him away.

The truth was, Hijikata was a haunted man and he was cruel because of it. A week ago when the whole thing had started, Hijikata had been experiencing waking dreams and illusions that he hadn't wanted to escape from. He'd dreamed of Mitsuba... and ever since then, she'd stayed with him. She was always with him, of course, but rarely were there times he could feel her even in the waking world. He would sit outside and he could smell her when the wind blew into his face. He would close his eyes and hear her laugh when the leaves rustled. He'd see her, too, everywhere he looked he'd catch sight of her hair, her favorite kimono. It was driving him absolutely mad and when he'd walked by a shop that had a fragrance so spicy it burned his nostril hair, he thought he was going to be sick his heart ached so much.

And subsequently, throughout the whole week, he'd avoided Gintoki. He'd see him coming and duck out of sight until he'd passed and he changed his routine to make it all the more unlikely they would run into each other. He hated himself for it, he knew it was cruel, but his warring emotions that he usually had better control over were running rampant. Gintoki and Mitsuba weren't comparable, they were two totally different people and Hijikata had strong feelings for both of them.

_But_... it hurt to think about Gintoki when Mitsuba's presence with him was so strong. He could feel nothing but guilt knowing that he wanted to sink his fingers into whatever trace of Mitsuba he could find and get lost in it and never let it go while Gintoki was out looking for him or trying to call. That had been one of the hardest things, seeing Gintoki's name come up on the caller ID and purposefully ignoring it. He just hadn't been able to deal with it and was pretty terrible when it came to coping. Usually he could throw himself into work, but he couldn't really do that when Gintoki was thrown into the mix. Gintoki who wanted to see him, spend time with him, be with him in such a genuine kind of way and Hijikata had snubbed it. Gintoki was a good man, a fucking _great _one, and in a lot of ways Hijikata didn't even feel like he deserved him.

They rested together like that for a long time, barely moving, just breathing and lightly touching. There were some kisses in there, little brushes of lips against skin or hair and Hijikata's blush would always get a bit deeper in color each time Gintoki nosed at him. It was nice to slow down, it was healing to be together, and Gintoki probably knew that. But for some reason – after however much time had passed – Gintoki was moving away from him.

"What're...?"

"Work," Gintoki responded and grinned. "Not often I get to say that to you, eh? You gotta mirror around here?"

"The closet, I think."

Gintoki went over to the small bag Hijikata hadn't noticed before and put on his kimono. He left it to hang open, his creamy skin visible through the slit, and walked over to the closet. It took some rummaging inside, but he eventually found what he was looking for, a small mirror, which he propped up on the desk that currently was lacking paperwork. He yanked his bag toward him and pulled some stuff out to put up by the mirror, makeup things, and last, he got his fluffy hair clips. Hijikata had seen Gintoki as Paako more than once before, but he'd never watched him get ready like this before.

Hijikata watched from the futon as Gintoki put on his hair clips and used his fingers to puff them out. He was sitting cross-legged, so un-lady like, and he looked so at ease with his kimono slipping off one shoulder. He even hummed to himself and took his time adjusting the hair clips the way they needed to be so they were level on both sides.

"See somethin' ya like?" Gintoki asked, watching him through the mirror.

"No."

"Oh, too bad."

Gintoki looked away from him and shrugged his shoulders so the kimono fell off both of them to expose his back – most notably the red scratch marks all over – and the clothing pooled in the crooks of his elbows. That was it, that was all it took for Hijikata to wriggle his way out of the comforter and crawl over to press in to sit behind Gintoki. He glared at the smug look tossed back his way, but it was halfhearted and he gave up the second Gintoki turned away.

Hijikata kissed little apologies along Gintoki's bare shoulders and god, he was a _lucky_ man. Gintoki wasn't Mitsuba's replacement, they were too different and it was impossible to say either was better than the other. Like, Mitsuba was always very patient whereas Gintoki's idea of patience was waiting a few seconds before losing it. But Hijikata didn't wish Gintoki were more like Mitsuba, that was just not how it worked. He meant it when he said he didn't compare them, he was a jerk sometimes, but he wasn't that barbarous.

Plus, Hijikata couldn't and wouldn't forget that Mitsuba had really liked Gintoki before she'd passed and also, how important the role Gintoki had played in the whole thing had been. How he'd managed to lift Mitsuba's spirits and simultaneously be there for Hijikata along the way. They obviously hadn't been together then, but Hijikata had allowed Gintoki to be up on that roof when he'd finally broken down. He wouldn't have let anyone else to see him like that, but, for some reason, it was okay since it was Gintoki. That was perhaps one of the biggest tip offs to him that Gintoki meant more to him than he'd ever considered.

"I'm an ass," he said, forehead resting on Gintoki's shoulder.

"Yeah... sometimes," Gintoki agreed. "I'll always be happy to help you pull the stick outta your ass if you need it."

Hijikata snorted and shook his head. "I've got it."

He felt Gintoki's head turn and he tilted his head to look up and meet his gaze. There was a single red eye staring down at him outlined in charcoal and Hijikata was hit once again that Gintoki was actually a very attractive woman. Hijikata wasn't hiding anything and it was because of that that Gintoki nodded and angled his head a little more. Eagerly raising himself higher, Hijikata took the offered kiss and slid his arms around his boyfriend's torso. It was a chaste kiss, then Gintoki went back to his makeup and Hijikata knew he'd been forgiven.

It was that easy for them – forgive, forget, move forward.

"You haven't worked as Paako for a long time."

"Yeah, well, it's easy money."

"I think you like it."

"You can think what you'd like."

Hijikata slid his hands down Gintoki's stomach and lightly scratched just below his bellybutton. He still felt guilty, massively so, he'd had no right to treat Gintoki that way he had. But, again, he was lucky because his lover was so understanding and knew pain and that sometimes time was needed. Time and space. That Gintoki was willing to give him what he needed and be there for him regardless of what he wanted. So, Gintoki wasn't very patient, but he could be, and that didn't go unnoticed. Hijikata appreciated it so much and needed to find a good way to express it. He knew Gintoki didn't require to be gratified, but it was still something Hijikata wanted to do. The guilt really was weighing him down, his stomach hurt, and he didn't think the magnitude of his feelings was being properly transferred through the way he kissed Gintoki's shoulder and pet his stomach.

"Should stay here."

"Oh, _now_ you want me to stay? Maybe I should have to work more often."

"No, I wouldn't like that."

"Thought I'm too lazy?"

"You are."

"So, you'd miss me."

"No."

"Then it's only okay to call me lazy when it suits you?"

"Of course."

Gintoki scoffed and finished his eye shadow without making any smudges. He looked good in makeup and Hijikata raised his hands up to trace his pecs. His fingers brushed Gintoki's nipples and they were pert, probably from being exposed, but maybe also from being touched. He nosed into Gintoki's neck and licked below his ear, the hair clip on that side brushing his face and tickling his nose. Gintoki smelled good, he always did, especially post coital when the tang of sweat mixed with the heightened scent of musk. It made Hijikata frown a bit, he didn't want anyone else to be able to get anywhere near it. He'd been getting more and more possessive over Gintoki and see him like this...

"You sure ya gotta go?"

"Told Saigou I'd be there. Someone's sick, they need another body. People like me there, I think."

"Don't say that, just givin' me more reason to try and keep ya here."

"I could come back after?"

"You shouldn't be walkin' alone."

"Well that's shitty. I _can _actually take care of myself."

"No woman should be unescorted."

"Cut the crap, I don't need no damn escort. You thinkin' you're gonna wait until I'm done or something'? That's a waste of time. Again, fully capable."

"Coulda changed there."

"I coulda, yeah."

Hijikata groaned, he knew there had to be something and having to watch Gintoki leave looking so fetching, that was going to be torture. It was the only thing Gintoki would do as a way to let him know being treated like that had upset him. That was something Hijikata had learned along the way since they'd started dating – Gintoki was extremely subtle despite being a loud mouth. It was getting easier for Hijikata to pick up on those small signals and he could honestly say he was proud of the progress they'd made.

"Yeah."

"Mm?"

"Come back after."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Hijikata licked his lips and added, "Just don't get caught."

"Okay." Gintoki threw the makeup back into the bag since he was done. "I'll leave my stuff here then." He finished and neither of them moved until Gintoki gently elbowed at Hijikata's stomach. "Gonna need to get back."

Sighing, Hijikata scooted back to sit on the futon and he watched Gintoki fix his clothes. He put on his obi and obijime and crisped out the folds of his kimono. He looked good, pretty, Hijikata didn't use beautiful often, but he'd use it right then. His dick was taking notice as well and though he tried to hide it, Gintoki still noticed. He smirked and Hijikata wasn't expecting it when he got down onto his knees, then all fours, and crawled toward him.

"Forgot my lip gloss... think I'll make my lips red another way," he said and lowered himself between Hijikata's legs. "Just don't mess up the hair."

**THE END**


End file.
